Parenting · Gaming · Local Multiplayer
I Gave My Son Access to Gaming. Not to the Internet.
I've been close to video games for as long as I can remember.
I didn't start early — I was around ten when I first played. But from that moment, something clicked. Not an escape from reality, not at that age. More like a door that opened to a different way of thinking.
Strategy games taught me to think several steps ahead. Role-playing games taught me patience and decision-making. Puzzle games rewired how I approach problems. Every genre had something to offer — not just entertainment, but a way of training the mind without it feeling like training.
I carried that with me. And now that I'm a father, I see those benefits clearly. I've watched what games did for me, and I want that for my kids.
But the game has changed. Literally.
Everything became online. Everything became free-to-play. And with that shift came something nobody warned us about: the internet brought the whole world into the room with your child.
Today's multiplayer games are designed to capture attention indefinitely. They're built around engagement loops, microtransactions, and social pressure. And beyond the design — there's the environment. The toxicity. The strangers. The people your child assumes are other kids their age, because why wouldn't they be?
That assumption is exactly where the danger lives.
I know this firsthand. Not as a theory. I've lived the consequences of what happens when a child connects to the wrong person online — and I had to involve the police to resolve it. I won't go into details. But that experience changed how I think about internet access for my kids permanently.
Roblox is blocked in my home at every level — DNS and firewall rules combined. That's not a random decision. It came from a real incident, with real consequences, that I will not let repeat itself.
The Infrastructure Side
Having your own infrastructure changes everything.
I have a firewall. I have a DNS resolver I control. I have the ability to segment devices, set rules by MAC address, and define exactly what any device on this network can and cannot reach.
His computer is on the network. But it's not on the same network as everyone else. He has access to what I know is safe for him. What he doesn't have is an open door to the internet at large — unfiltered, unmonitored, unrestricted.
How it works technically
His device is assigned to a separate network segment via OPNsense. Pi-hole handles DNS filtering at the network level — specific platforms are blocked at every entry point, DNS and firewall rules combined. No workaround from the device side is possible without going through the firewall first.
The games he plays run locally — no cloud dependency, no account required, no server in another country deciding what content he sees. Everything stays inside the network I control.
And inside those boundaries, I've given him more freedom than most kids his age have.
The Games
He plays modern games. Games his friends are playing.
I watch him play Subnautica and I see something I didn't expect. He doesn't just explore. He manages tension. The game generates a specific kind of fear — the deep ocean, the unknown, something just out of sight — and instead of shutting down, he builds. He creates bases, he plans routes, he finds ways to protect himself from things he hasn't encountered yet.
Then I watch him play Hollow Knight. That game asks something different from him. It asks him to remember. Routes. Events. Techniques. It asks him to fail, repeatedly, against the same boss — and to come back each time with a slightly better understanding of what went wrong. That's not just gaming. That's a feedback loop that most adults struggle to maintain in real life.
And then there's Minecraft. Where he builds things that exist only in his mind first, and then in the game. No instructions. No blueprint. Just imagination and patience.
Every time he beats a difficult boss — every time he earns something through effort and repetition — he learns something that no participation trophy ever taught anyone: that results require work. That dedication has a payoff.
The Session
Four kids. One screen. Four controllers. No internet required.
I organized a gaming session with his friends at home. Kids from school. Kids he actually knows, kids whose parents I know. No online strangers. No headsets talking to accounts from other countries. Just kids in the same room, in front of the same screen.
Four Xbox controllers connected via USB to the PC. One TV. All four playing together.
Same room. Same screen. Real people.
The game library for the session: Brawlhalla, Street Fighter V, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, and Marvel Cosmic Invasion. The competitive options were available — but they chose to prioritize games where all four could play together at the same time. That decision was intuitive and social, not technical. Nobody sat out. Nobody watched while the others played.
They laughed. They argued. They ran around the room between rounds. They came back and played more.
What they played
Screenshots are shown to give you a sense of each game — not photos from the session itself. I was too busy making sure they had a good time to stop and document everything.
I was there the whole time. Not hovering — present. Watching. I didn't take more photos because I was busy living the moment and monitoring the session. That's a different kind of supervision than a parental control app. I know what they played. I know what they saw. I know what they experienced together.
That bond — the gestures, the expressions, the laughter in the same room — is something no online game can replicate. A headset and a chat window is not the same as sitting next to someone and watching their face when they lose.
The Point
I'm not closing the door to gaming. I'm opening it — carefully, deliberately, on my terms.
I'm not against online gaming forever. But I am against it right now, at this age, without the maturity to navigate what comes with it.
Right now, he plays in the real world. With real people. And that's exactly where I want him.
One day he'll have full access. One day he'll make his own decisions about what he plays and who he plays with. That day will come.
But it's not today.
Today, he plays. He learns. He has fun. He just doesn't do it with strangers. And I sleep better because of it.
How do you handle gaming at home with your kids? Drop your thoughts below.
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